Saturday, June 10
Miller Mews
285 Whiteview Rd
Wynantskill, NY 12198
(518)283-3533/859-0702
So yeah. I hope you can come, and bring a dish to share. It's shorter notice than usual, no fanfare, so the level of hypeness is up to you. Please, email your RSVP -- if I get more than 20 folks standing in the long grass of my backyard, i'ma get a keg of something interesting.
Oh, what for? Well, I've just come back from London. Marianne's back from France. Some of you are bound for Maryland, of all places. And I've just had a birthday (I'm 28). So why the (Ford) not have a nice big barbeque with smoked pork, freshly seared ground beef and your odd blackened beet?
So yeah. I carved this pumpkin. I think it came out okay, but i have no ideas for the other pumpkin i got...if you can help, you know how to reach me.
So what are you waiting for, a fucking invitation? Ok! Click here!
Hi. My long history of posting realistic, thoughtful and well written comments on the Slashdot news website has reached the critical mass needed to attract retards with nothing better to do but insult people who think before typing. This is really exciting, because you're never really anybody until you piss somebody off. I'm moving up in the world, man. Like George Jefferson, or Johnny Rotten.
If you came to my website hoping to find things to insult me about, you're in luck. I've decided to make your job a whole lot easier. Here is a list of laughable shit about me and my life:
Here is a picture of me and my wife from 8 years ago. You might want to make fun of how big my thighs are, or how white my skin is. Also, my haircuts sucks and maybe I should wear socks with my docksiders so I don't smell so much.
Here is a Dragonball Z wig I made for my little brother when he was 11. I didn't do a very good job and of course only morons like Dragonball Z or do things with their siblings. Also, I lived in a basement, probably because nobody wanted to smell me upstairs, hu hu.
Here is a picture of me at my wedding. That little beard thing isn't very good looking, is it? I'm sure you can find something hilarious to say about it. And wow, what a mammoth I was, whew! I must about 600 pounds there, I can barely fit in that tarpaulin of a tuxedo!
Here is my desk at my old job. It's pretty messy, huh? And a Simpsons woodcut, what a DORK I am. Jeez.
Here is my little dog. I love my dog, and that is of course really lame. I'm sure you think she's quite ugly as well, right? Maybe you could threaten to harm her in some way...that's something you internet guys do, right? Unsubstantiatable threats?
Here I am, proving what an ugly, bad haircut, never shaving fat fuck of a faggot I am. But I encourage you to use your own words. These are merely suggestions.
Here is my cat. Only fat homos take pictures of cats. And what is that, a USB cable? Only fat homos use USB.
And here is a special one, just for you. Keep up the good work, guys. I'm better with you on the job.
Yeah. You know you want it. You know you feel the hunger. So what are you assholes waiting for? RSVP via email, IM, phone messaging, semaphore code, carrier pigeon or just comment on this post.
Oh, what are we celebrating? What about two years of home ownership? What about three years of Webslum? What about two and a half years of marriage? What about four and a half billion years of geology? Forty years of the Beetles? Thirty years of Dungeons and Dragons? Twenty years of the Macintosh? Ten years since Nine Inch Nails' Downward Spiral tour? What about Jane the Dog? What about Betty the Beetle? What about the impending death of my hard drive? What about my 26th birthday, which is coincidentally celebrated on May 22nd as well? I've lived as many years as there are red cards in a poker deck (black ones, too). Does that get your bull running, Holmes?
Well, if not, let's drink one down for John Fucking Kerry, who's got his work cut out for him, and who consequently is calling for democrats across the country to hold fundraiser house parties in his honor. Now, I'm not going to do that. I think it's kind of lame to force your politics on others in a country where people are allowed to believe whatever damn lie they want. But this will be a sympathy party. We'll spread around them liberal politics in honor of the esteemed senator of the fine state of Tax-achusetts. And we'll pour one out for our fine dead homey, the Mad Doctor Dean.
I'll have fresh beer. A brown ale using locally grown hops and honey, with water from the Rensselaer spring. And I'll have two grills going, spinning all manners of seasoned, sweetened, blackened treats of the earth and below. It is going to KICK your ASS.
Jingo Talisman, Passionate Half-Orc Barbarian/Sorceror
Black Eyes, Sadistic Half-Orc Barbarian
Bloodfist, Ruthless Human Fighter
Selvan Hyde, Bacchanal Gnomish Monk/Sorceror
